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Fwd Tech  Monday 15 June 2009

England not in the Confederations Cup? No worries, this little lot will get you through the summer...

So, the Confederations Cup is underway. FIFA’s football tournament celebrating the champions of each continent. Well, we say: “balls to the Confederations Cup”. England’s not even in it. So what are you going to do instead? How about consoling yourself with this lot of footie kit instead?

Adidas Kopanya Ball So England aren’t in the Confederations Cup. You might as well go down the park for a kick around instead, using the official tournament’s ball – the Adidas Kopanya. We bet Kaka won’t have to dodge needles and dog turds, though.

Puma Italy Home Shirt Support the World Champions in their quest to add the Confederations Cup to the World Cup, by donning their new Puma home top. The 100 per cent Polyester warp knitted mesh in two layers creates the ultimate in cooling technology. So you’ll look as cool as Andrea Pirlo, until you actually try to pick out a 30m pass.

Nike Mercurial Vapor IV Designed in conjunction with Didier Drogba, Cristiano Ronaldo and Theo Walcott the Nike Mercurial Vapor IVs use Nike’s Speed Plate technology to improve acceleration. Funnily enough, none of the aforementioned players are at the Confederations Cup, but we assure you it’s nothing to do with the boots. They’re really good.

R/C Drinks Cooler All that running around chasing balls is hard work. Sit down and have a cold one delivered to you by the remote-controlled beer cooler. The battery-operated ice bucket has wheels and works from up to 30ft away via a bottle top-styled controller. Hilarious. If you imagine R2D2 crossed with a drinks dispensing machine, then you’re pretty much there.

FIFA 09 You don’t have to spend £80m to get Ronaldo in your team. Just £17.99 for FIFA 09 on Xbox 360 or PS3, then use your virtual millions to entice him. Also, you can take part as England in your own tournament. Let’s face it, it’s the closest the Three Lions are ever going to get to lifting some silverware!