Christmas day planned!
Your quick guide to Christmas day
Christmas day. A day for playing with all your new-fangled gadgets and what-nots that hopefully you’ve received. But sometimes there are just too many to get to grips with in one day, so we’ve broken down the day for you, to make sure you’re filling the 24 hours productively…
10.00am Wake up. Have a shave in the shower with your new Philips RQ1095 ARCitec Rotary Shaver making sure not to nick yourself. Don’t want your face covered with toilet paper in the Christmas photos.
10.30am Make some festive cinnamon toast in your new Breville TT68 toaster. Whether you make some for anyone else in the family is up to you.
11.00am Open the rest of your Christmas presents and play with your new Spidersapien until lunch or until your girlfriend is sufficiently annoyed. Whichever comes first.
12.00 Lunch. Watch everyone’s reactions as you prepare to carve the turkey with your new Leatherman Charge AL. Then overload on sprouts and prepare to watch their reactions all over again.
15.00 The Queen’s Speech. Watch her majesty talk about the annus financius crappius on the spanking new Pioneer PDP-LX508D Kuro. Because a 50-inch tellly won’t make it look like you’re watching a talking stamp.
15.01 Fall asleep
17.00 Wake up to the sound of your girlfriend taking pictures of you drooling with her new Canon EOS 450D.
18.30 Coax the family into a game of Lips on the Xbox 360. Claim they’re rubbish. Then show yourself up with a rendition of Tom Jones’ Sex Bomb.
19.30 Start eating again.
20.00 Settle down to watch the annual showing of The Sound of Music with the SoundAsleep Pillow. It’s in-built speaker will help to drown out Julie Andrew’s over-enthusiastic warblings.
22.30 Bed
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